.Mil advice.....

[mrvette]

Funny as hell, but deadly accurate.....

[Mike Mercury]

Porter was talking to a girl in a bar last

night and she said to Porter, “Hey, let’s exchange numbers.”

Porter said, “Won’t that confuse people who are trying to call us?”

-----------------------------------------------

My dentist said, my teeth were stained and asked me “Do you smoke or drink coffee?”

After thinking for a few seconds, I replied:”I drink it”

--------------------------------------------------

Instead of water, I put Red Bull in the back of my coffee maker this morning.

I was halfway to work before I realized I forgot my car.

--------------------------------------------------------


The waiter brought me a Waldorf Salad.

I was confused, I ordered a Ceasar Salad.

So he started stabbing the salad over and over and said, "Happy now?"

----------------------------------------------------------

Little Johnny

The teacher asked the class what kind of bird has feathers but can't fly.
Little Johnny answered, "A dead one."

--------------------------------------------------------

I told my boss...

three companies were after me and I needed a raise to stay at my job. We haggled for a few minutes and he gave me a 5 % raise.

Leaving his office, he stopped and asked me, "By the way, which companies are after you?" I responded, "The gas, electric and cable company."

------------------------------------------------------

How did Rihanna catch Chris Brown cheating?

She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.

[MadInNc]

Porter was talking to a girl in a bar last

night and she said to Porter, “Hey, let’s exchange numbers.”

Porter said, “Won’t that confuse people who are trying to call us?”

-----------------------------------------------

My dentist said, my teeth were stained and asked me “Do you smoke or drink coffee?”

After thinking for a few seconds, I replied:”I drink it”

--------------------------------------------------

Instead of water, I put Red Bull in the back of my coffee maker this morning.

I was halfway to work before I realized I forgot my car.

--------------------------------------------------------


The waiter brought me a Waldorf Salad.

I was confused, I ordered a Ceasar Salad.

So he started stabbing the salad over and over and said, "Happy now?"

----------------------------------------------------------

Little Johnny

The teacher asked the class what kind of bird has feathers but can't fly.
Little Johnny answered, "A dead one."

--------------------------------------------------------

I told my boss...

three companies were after me and I needed a raise to stay at my job. We haggled for a few minutes and he gave me a 5 % raise.

Leaving his office, he stopped and asked me, "By the way, which companies are after you?" I responded, "The gas, electric and cable company."

------------------------------------------------------

How did Rihanna catch Chris Brown cheating?

She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.


STFU Porter :rofl:

Thanks Mkke :seasix:

[Rikki Z-06]

STFU Porter :rofl:

Thanks Mkke :seasix:

:funnier::funnier::funnier:

[Bill]

https://media.patriots.win/post/p5hNTiFG.jpeg