Well, the divorce keeps getting more painful.

[69camfrk]

Just when I think things are about to be over, my soon to be ex hits me with something else. Here is a little background. I gave up an active duty career so she could finish her masters and have HER career. Our marriage was never great, but I suffered through it for way too many years. We have a house that was (almost) paid for. Behind my back, she ran up 42k in credit card debt. So trying to do what I thought was the right thing, I let her get a home equity loan on said amount. I'm not on the loan, but had to sign because I was on the deed.

I also agreed to give her $750 a month in child support and we will have joint custody. My youngest son is 17. I also agreed to give her the house and the rest of the equity. Roughly 50-70k and the furniture. Also, take in mind that she makes more money than me. I also agreed to give her 30% of my .mil retirement, and this morning, she says she wants 50%. I just sort of wanted to take my stuff and leave, but she keeps wanting to gut me. I already agreed to sign off on taking me off the deed, and giving her the house, but this is a deal breaker. The finance company is badgering me, but I have not signed any paperwork. I have also continued to pay her car insurance, but that ends as of today. I may have been one shitty husband, but no way in hell do I deserve what she is trying to put me through. I am about to the end of my rope...:sadangel:

[Rodnok1]

Sounds like she should pay you alimony if made more... Just saying.

[z06psi]

**** her.

She is ****ing you because she is listening to her lawyer.

Greedy ****.

Time to go to war.

[69camfrk]

Sounds like she should pay you alimony if made more... Just saying.

I am calling the lawyer's office as soon as they come in. I am sick as a dog with a headcold or something, and her new announcement this morning is the icing on the cake.

[z06psi]

Joint custody and **** that child support ad well.

[04 commemorative]

Hope things get better for you,I have seen this many times where the guy tries to do what he thinks is right but gets ****ed many times over.....not sure what I would do .

[BayouCountry]

Let the lawyers hash it out. Sounds like she is taking advantage of you during this hard time.

Hang in there. Divorce was one of the, if not the worst, experiences of my life.

[Dan47]

I’m not understanding, did you retire from the reserves or AD? Not sure how your state treats men in divorce but I’d fight for every inch.

It’s been awhile since I’ve been through a breakup but I remember it being very painful and then relieving as f*ck. Hang in there, it will get better.

[Chemtrails99]

Turn into the bastard she imagines you are and fight for every little thing. Withdraw 100% of your concessions and tell her lawyer it's time to start over. Crater your credit rating and lose the house if need be, then demand alimony from her and repayment of the money you spent on her loans. If the youngest kid is 17, suffer out the year left until they are an adult and don't worry about custody.

The best defense is always a counter attack. Lawyers are used to getting the upper hand and exploiting it. When you go sideways they start to see the case as a time-wasting losing proposition and often will settle far cheaper than when they think they are in control.

[z06psi]

Scorched earth.

[Strats-N-Vettes]

Let Knooger pack her in the peanut pouch.....she gonna learn today!

[Mick]

Turn into the bastard she imagines you are and fight for every little thing. Withdraw 100% of your concessions and tell her lawyer it's time to start over. Crater your credit rating and lose the house if need be, then demand alimony from her and repayment of the money you spent on her loans. If the youngest kid is 17, suffer out the year left until they are an adult and don't worry about custody.

The best defense is always a counter attack. Lawyers are used to getting the upper hand and exploiting it. When you go sideways they start to see the case as a time-wasting losing proposition and often will settle far cheaper than when they think they are in control.

:iagree:

This is a very common tactic if they feel you are getting anxious to finalize the divorce. They try to get a big concession out of you, holding the carrot of the pain reaching its end. Financially, it would be better to gut it out until the youngest child turns 18, if you can stand it. Either way, I would respond harshly, and say that she can have 50% of the retirement, but then you get 50% of the cash assets (sounds like you are getting substantially less), and you get a portion of the amount her income exceeds yours as alimony.

[69camfrk]

I’m not understanding, did you retire from the reserves or AD? Not sure how your state treats men in divorce but I’d fight for every inch.

It’s been awhile since I’ve been through a breakup but I remember it being very painful and then relieving as f*ck. Hang in there, it will get better.

I retired from the Air Guard. Don't get me wrong, I was full time as a dual status technician. Deployed way more than when I was AD. I don't see shit until I'm 60.

[Mike Mercury]

https://sayingimages.com/wp-content/uploads/i-dont-always-divorce-memes.jpg






https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/proxy/YROcpeAQKD85dVC3iY-stnsXZKZPWwFLSdDSt1vlMdoytorP0khtmZ_nGYPOQQtttFIRx7AdW3Ptw2j8cLOfyUgBiEcoi_IYgiJhDh9M9A0buK-bueIU8PGc7Y1SbN27NrWET0KsYOtG_rQaENKH68e-Pd0TJKWIFL2FXOPikxn--yR6cHY

[Burro (He/Haw)]

I’m not sure how it is in your state but in MN you own half of that $42k debt. Marital asset I’m afraid.

Example; I purchased my H-D Limited while we were married. I financed the entire thing and her name wasn’t on the title. It was considered a marital asset.

Again, this is just MN; she’s entitled to 50% of your pension/retirement. And you’re entitled to 50% of hers. (That’s just pension piece)

What you did to further her career has *zero* value in the eyes of the court. “I gave up a promising career as a Llama Rider so she could get her Basket Weaving PhD” is irrelevant.

Now some completely unsolicited advice; “This is ****in’ WAR!” is expensive and harder on you than you could ever imagine. I’m not advocating you cave into all her demands but give careful consideration to what it’s gonna cost you in lawyer fees to retain that $500.00 ice auger.

[Dan47]

I retired from the Air Guard. Don't get me wrong, I was full time as a dual status technician. Deployed way more than when I was AD. I don't see shit until I'm 60.

Just got to outlive her ass then. :lol:

Honestly though, been there, done that. It will get better. :cert:

[m and t's77]

Yup,scorched earth time and if your lawyer is a ***** fire him and find a bull dog.
.

[69camfrk]

I’m not sure how it is in your state but in MN you own half of that $42k debt. Marital asset I’m afraid.

Example; I purchased my H-D Limited while we were married. I financed the entire thing and her name wasn’t on the title. It was considered a marital asset.

Again, this is just MN; she’s entitled to 50% of your pension/retirement. And you’re entitled to 50% of hers. (That’s just pension piece)

What you did to further her career has *zero* value in the eyes of the court. “I gave up a promising career as a Llama Rider so she could get her Basket Weaving PhD” is irrelevant.

Now some completely unsolicited advice; “This is ****in’ WAR!” is expensive and harder on you than you could ever imagine. I’m not advocating you cave into all her demands but give careful consideration to what it’s gonna cost you in lawyer fees to retain that $500.00 ice auger.

Yes, I am on the hook for her debt also. I never thought it possible to loathe a person as much as I do her. Plus there is still 50-70k of equity in the house that she is getting. I have never once threatened to mess with her teacher retirement and investments. I guess enough isn't enough. And yes, I realize that everything I sacrificed is for naught.

[Mike Mercury]

friend of mine... couldn't get his future ex to agree to anything for the divorce because she kept saying
"I want the house... I want the house"

The home they were in had no sizeable equity, loan value was near what the place was worth. He finally caved in; she got the house and she had to get a mortgage on her own.

3 years later the house went into foreclosure. To her friends, she blamed losing the house on the divorce agreement; saying:

"I got stuck with the house"

:banghead:

[Burro (He/Haw)]

Crater your credit rating and lose the house if need be, then demand alimony.

This simply wasn’t an option in my case. My employer pulls my credit rating periodically. If it’s bad? They could terminate my employment. I went to great lengths to preserve that. Not only that, having a shit credit score has all kinds of ramifications.

As for spousal maintenance? HIGHLY unlikely. He’s not a stay at home dad, both parties work. She could possibly ask for it temporarily while the divorce is in progress, but so can he.

[m and t's77]

Buddy must be the lawyer they are always the ones that make out in the deal.

Give Me Half! by Stuart J. Murphy - YouTube

[dwjz06]

Just when I think things are about to be over, my soon to be ex hits me with something else. Here is a little background. I gave up an active duty career so she could finish her masters and have HER career. Our marriage was never great, but I suffered through it for way too many years. We have a house that was (almost) paid for. Behind my back, she ran up 42k in credit card debt. So trying to do what I thought was the right thing, I let her get a home equity loan on said amount. I'm not on the loan, but had to sign because I was on the deed.

I also agreed to give her $750 a month in child support and we will have joint custody. My youngest son is 17. I also agreed to give her the house and the rest of the equity. Roughly 50-70k and the furniture. Also, take in mind that she makes more money than me. I also agreed to give her 30% of my .mil retirement, and this morning, she says she wants 50%. I just sort of wanted to take my stuff and leave, but she keeps wanting to gut me. I already agreed to sign off on taking me off the deed, and giving her the house, but this is a deal breaker. The finance company is badgering me, but I have not signed any paperwork. I have also continued to pay her car insurance, but that ends as of today. I may have been one shitty husband, but no way in hell do I deserve what she is trying to put me through. I am about to the end of my rope...:sadangel:
Went through the same thing. Someone got in and told her it is about cash and prizes. F that. You need to look at the new enemy. You were being used. It is not about love. Best of luck sir. I am almost done. Two more months:seasix::cert:

[Mike Mercury]

https://www.yellowbullet.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=1920,fit=scale-down/https://www.yellowbullet.com/attachments/1616967982297-png.228563/

[RMVette]

Ugh.... this brought up painful memories of mine.. Good luck sir...

[Mike Mercury]

https://64.media.tumblr.com/873e4cad7a187fce66217c6912a536b2/177a74090c9b14f3-36/s1280x1920/5f39f6a59ef1e20233f1630a1ffb774addd9e749.jpg

[bsmith]

I don't know how he does it, but my brother came through his first divorce pretty much unscathed, and divorce #2 is looking the same. :willy:

He's separated from the second, and she doesn't want anything.

I can't decide if he's lucky or unlucky.

[gs568]

Stop being the nice guy and fight back. She obviously doesn’t give a shit about you.

[69camfrk]

Stop being the nice guy and fight back. She obviously doesn’t give a shit about you.

I was never anything more than supplemental income.:sadangel:

[dwjz06]

I don't know how he does it, but my brother came through his first divorce pretty much unscathed, and divorce #2 (https://www.thevettebarn.com/forums/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) is looking the same. :willy:

He's separated from the second, and she doesn't want anything.

I can't decide if he's lucky or unlucky.I would say lucky as most of my friends and myself were raped in the process. I can tell you he is a dumb azz if he does it a third time.:D:cert:

[The_Dude]

http://forgifs.com/gallery/d/209962-2/Face-pushed.gif? (http://forgifs.com)

[Olustee bus]

Yup,scorched earth time and if your lawyer is a ***** fire him and find a bull dog.
.


This may be the way to go. 50% or your retirement is bullsh*t.

[The_Dude]

I met with a financial advisor to evaluate my retirement savings. He said that, other than not saving, nothing ****s with your retirement more than a divorce.

[Chemtrails99]

Yes, I am on the hook for her debt also. I never thought it possible to loathe a person as much as I do her. Plus there is still 50-70k of equity in the house that she is getting. I have never once threatened to mess with her teacher retirement and investments. I guess enough isn't enough. And yes, I realize that everything I sacrificed is for naught.

Hence my earlier point. Go absolutely sideways on her. Have the lawyer tell her EVERYTHING needs to be renegotiated ASAP. EVERY demand from her MUST be met with a resounding "NO!". In addition, go after every penny she has. Make sure she notices you don't care if it hurts her the rest of her life. Burn her to the ground, make her angry at the lawyer for not closing the deal. Then she'll start giving up ground just to get it over with. Fight fire with much bigger fire.

(BTW- Had a very sneaky person who worked with the public once tell me that no matter what a customer wants, reasonable or not, he always gave them a loud "NO" and walked away as if the conversation was done. Then he would force them to kiss his ass until he could give up the smallest thing possible and they stopped pushing because any concession felt like they won. Sneaky bastard. I have many times proven his advice was good since).

[dwjz06]

I met with a financial advisor to evaluate my retirement savings. He said that, other than not saving, nothing ****s with your retirement more than a divorce.yep watched 50% of mine walk away:sadangel: don’t ever believe it is cheaper to keep her, and don’t believe that bull shit happy wife happy life crap. Bottom line is don’t let anyone control half of your chit or life for that matter. 2 things can change your life for good. I am not happy, I changed my mind. i do not want to be married anymore.:kick:

[Burro (He/Haw)]

Retirement accounts are dicey. But here’s the thing; you can’t compartmentalize *just* retirement funds. There’s home equity, assets, savings, automobile value, any and all debt, holy **** it’s endless.

This shit is pretty fresh in my head as I just went through it all less than a year ago.

OP, keep an eye on your attorney’s billing also. Typically it looks like this; you’ll pay a retainer, let’s say $4k. The lawyer will bill you hourly (or even smaller increments) for his services. When the retainer is eaten up he’ll start billing you hourly. (Or smaller) At some point you’re probably going to see a an hour or two at a much higher rate. That’s most likely a partner looking at the associates work. Like a peer review.

Answer ALL correspondences ASAP. If they have to send you a reminder or a “Where we at with this document?” email? You’ll be billed. Document EVERY ****in’ thing and understand it to the best of your ability. Some of it is complicated, mine was.

[DJ_Critterus]

Just when I think things are about to be over, my soon to be ex hits me with something else. Here is a little background. I gave up an active duty career so she could finish her masters and have HER career. Our marriage was never great, but I suffered through it for way too many years. We have a house that was (almost) paid for. Behind my back, she ran up 42k in credit card debt. So trying to do what I thought was the right thing, I let her get a home equity loan on said amount. I'm not on the loan, but had to sign because I was on the deed.

I also agreed to give her $750 a month in child support and we will have joint custody. My youngest son is 17. I also agreed to give her the house and the rest of the equity. Roughly 50-70k and the furniture. Also, take in mind that she makes more money than me. I also agreed to give her 30% of my .mil retirement, and this morning, she says she wants 50%. I just sort of wanted to take my stuff and leave, but she keeps wanting to gut me. I already agreed to sign off on taking me off the deed, and giving her the house, but this is a deal breaker. The finance company is badgering me, but I have not signed any paperwork. I have also continued to pay her car insurance, but that ends as of today. I may have been one shitty husband, but no way in hell do I deserve what she is trying to put me through. I am about to the end of my rope...:sadangel:

HAte to say this, but if you were married for 10+ years while on AD, then she IS entitled to 50% of your retirement and nothing more. It's pro-rated for anything less than 10%

And if you do get disability through the Va, she is not entitled to any of that by law, too.

[gs568]

I was never anything more than supplemental income.:sadangel:

Sorry to hear that. You got to fight Man.

[Ronins2ndCuzzin]

Always protect yourself. Getting bent over a barrel is the WRONG approach to this. Be viciously calm and calculating. You don't owe her shit. The government says you do. Your fight is NOT with her...it's with the GOV'T. Never give an INCH. The court system is going to sock it to you anyways...no reason to "give" her any more than that.

[Burro (He/Haw)]

And oh yeah - Some of her demands may be coming from her lawyer.

Example. My ex makes $80k/year. When I was served one demand was maintenance. I went into ****in’ orbit as you can imagine. Come to find out her lawyer was the one that recommended that, not her. Her attorney is in the hours billed business. She doesn’t give a shit about negotiating in good faith. Ain’t no money in that.

[Sea Six]

So glad I never got married...........

[z06psi]

HAte to say this, but if you were married for 10+ years while on AD, then she IS entitled to 50% of your retirement and nothing more. It's pro-rated for anything less than 10%



And if you do get disability through the Va, she is not entitled to any of that by law, too.Wrong.

State to state. She isn't entitled to any of your retirement.

The judge can award less but not anymore than 50%.

When the wife and I were divorcing a long time ago I was getting 100% of my retirement. It is up to the separating spouse to be honorable or not. Also up to the judge but no one is entitled.

[z06psi]

So glad I never got married...........Does your boyfriend feel the same way?

[DJ_Critterus]

Wrong.

State to state. She isn't entitled to any of your retirement.

The judge can award less but not anymore than 50%.

When the wife and I were divorcing a long time ago I was getting 100% of my retirement. It is up to the separating spouse to be honorable or not. Also up to the judge but no one is entitled.

You may be right, but most times the Judge is going to go with 50% after 10 years.

[Burro (He/Haw)]

When the wife and I were divorcing a long time ago I was getting 100% of my retirement. It is up to the separating spouse to be honorable or not. Also up to the judge but no one is entitled.

Are you talking active duty military or in general terms?

[DJ_Critterus]

Are you talking active duty military or in general terms?

Usually military retirement would be 50% after 10 years, no questions asked.

[Burro (He/Haw)]

Usually military retirement would be 50% after 10 years, no questions asked.

I’ve never been in the military but don’t you have to be in 20 to even get a pension?

[69camfrk]

Usually military retirement would be 50% after 10 years, no questions asked.

That is the unfortunate part. Considering all the concessions I am already making, I think at this point, it passed up being anywhere close to being fair. And as you know, I will not get a full AD retirement. I made damn sure she had a career, etc. but now she is letting greed take over. I just want it to be said and done, but now she wants to make sure that my 17 year old son is in the middle. If she keeps on, there will be no choice but to sell the house. I didn't want all of this to impact my youngest son anymore than it has, but yet, here we are.

[C3C7NIC]

Don't attorneys want divorcing couples to hash it out as long as possible?

Don't they get paid by the hour? A quick resolution does not pad their pockets

:popcorns:

[RMVette]

Don't attorneys want divorcing couples to hash it out as long as possible?

Don't they get paid by the hour? A quick resolution does not pad their pockets

:popcorns:

The only people that come out ahead in a divorce are the attorneys.

[ratflinger]

**** that, demand that everything be sold, house included. All creditors are paid off and any cash left is split 50/50. Have to pay child support until the kid is 18 and if college is agreed to then you pay directly to the school each semester. If she wants 1/2 your retirement, then you demand 1/2 of hers. Kid may side with her, but he is all but an adult, time to make adult decisions. Go scorched earth until she becomes reasonable.

[Burro (He/Haw)]

You 'Scorched Earthers' must have a ****ing war chest at your disposal.

You're FAR better off busting your scorched ass on negotiations. Protect your assets and stop right there.

[Aerovette]

Let the lawyers hash it out. Sounds like she is taking advantage of you during this hard time.

Hang in there. Divorce was one of the, if not the worst, experiences of my life.

Lawyers hash it out at $250.00/hour.

OP needs to hash it out, get it in writing, lawyers agree to the terms YOU TWO have set out.

Get your ex away from the lawyers long enough to figure out what she wants, not what they say she wants.

[Burro (He/Haw)]

Lawyers hash it out at $250.00/hour.

OP needs to hash it out, get it in writing, lawyers agree to the terms YOU TWO have set out.

Get your ex away from the lawyers long enough to figure out what she wants, not what they say she wants.

Read this twice OP. :yesnod:

[z06psi]

Lawyers hash it out at $250.00/hour.



OP needs to hash it out, get it in writing, lawyers agree to the terms YOU TWO have set out.



Get your ex away from the lawyers long enough to figure out what she wants, not what they say she wants.Yup and if she doesn't listen because she is a **** then scorched earth it all.

[z06psi]

You 'Scorched Earthers' must have a ****ing war chest at your disposal.



You're FAR better off busting your scorched ass on negotiations. Protect your assets and stop right there.Nope. Sometimes doing that wakes the other partner up.

That's what I was prepared to do and when she realized it she thought better.

I pulled a fast one on my wife.

She had been researching lawyers. I found her notes and the one she circled I hired immediately.

She was so pissed.

[z06psi]

If you can't out think your wife and stay one step ahead then you are a dumbass.

[z06psi]

:funnier:


You ****ers miss me don't you?


:funnier:

[MEANZ06]

Nope. Sometimes doing that wakes the other partner up.

That's what I was prepared to do and when she realized it she thought better.

I pulled a fast one on my wife.

She had been researching lawyers. I found her notes and the one she circled I hired immediately.

She was so pissed.

That's awesome! :funnier:

[C3C7NIC]

Getting dirty is the only answer, threaten to tell the world about that night she got jiggy with a donkey at the in-laws farm and all bets are off.

https://youtu.be/3JcmQONgXJM

[z06psi]

That's awesome! :funnier:Once the emotions were over with it turned to war.

I hired that lawyer got her to agree to uncontested which was pretty evenly split. Told her after she signed I didn't have the money to file right there in the lawyer's office and that there was time.

As soon as we left in separate cars I called the lawyer and filed it immediately.

:funnier:

[z06psi]

Getting dirty is the only answer, threaten to tell the world about that night she got jiggy with a donkey at the in-laws farm and all bets are off.



https://youtu.be/3JcmQONgXJMTell everyone she likes bukkake.

[Torqaholic]

... It is up to the separating spouse to be honorable or not. Also up to the judge but no one is entitled.

Yup, that's why I'm not divorced.

We got together with a lawyer and drew up a divorce agreement after I kicked her out. Plan was to pay her money to go away. Lawyer presented that to the court then a letter arrived in the mail from a judge wanting my signature agreeing to his decisions. The last kid was living with me and we didn't want to risk her being ordered to pay child support or end up with legal custody so I threw the letter in the trash. What decisions? It's all there in black and white, all we needed from him was a lousy signature.

A month later the lawyer asks me about the letter and sort of freaks out when I say it's in the dump :D Tough shit, withdraw the petition... Then I get a letter from the judge saying my case is closed without prejudice :rofl: Wise man.

[Mick]

**** that, demand that everything be sold, house included. All creditors are paid off and any cash left is split 50/50. Have to pay child support until the kid is 18 and if college is agreed to then you pay directly to the school each semester. If she wants 1/2 your retirement, then you demand 1/2 of hers. Kid may side with her, but he is all but an adult, time to make adult decisions. Go scorched earth until she becomes reasonable.

:iagree:

Basically, this is a much better worded version of what I was recommending above. If you were offering a better than half settlement before, and the douche-bag lawyer is asking for more, simply reject the whole proposed settlement, and go with the above.

[Aerovette]

Tell everyone she likes bukkake.

Isn't the idea to be slanderous and spread LIES? :island14:

[69camfrk]

Lawyers hash it out at $250.00/hour.

OP needs to hash it out, get it in writing, lawyers agree to the terms YOU TWO have set out.

Get your ex away from the lawyers long enough to figure out what she wants, not what they say she wants.

She and I had an "agreement" that she amended. I gave it to my lawyer and he sent it to hers. I agreed to give her everything but keeping dental on the kids (one 20, youngest 17) which she already covers and to give me 30 days from signing the divorce to get my stuff off the property. That was after I agreed to literally give her everything else and 30% of my .mil retirement. I suppose if the judge wants to give her 50%, then so be it. I figured the house, with all the equity, furniture, keeping insurance on the kids etc. would be enough. Not so I reckon.

[ASTROCREEP]

She and I had an "agreement" that she amended. I gave it to my lawyer and he sent it to hers. I agreed to give her everything but keeping dental on the kids (one 20, youngest 17) which she already covers and to give me 30 days from signing the divorce to get my stuff off the property. That was after I agreed to literally give her everything else and 30% of my .mil retirement. I suppose if the judge wants to give her 50%, then so be it. I figured the house, with all the equity, furniture, keeping insurance on the kids etc. would be enough. Not so I reckon.

This Deal's Getting Worse All The Time | Robot Chicken | Adult Swim - YouTube

[JRD77VET]

She and I had an "agreement" that she amended. I gave it to my lawyer and he sent it to hers. I agreed to give her everything but keeping dental on the kids (one 20, youngest 17) which she already covers and to give me 30 days from signing the divorce to get my stuff off the property. That was after I agreed to literally give her everything else and 30% of my .mil retirement. I suppose if the judge wants to give her 50%, then so be it. I figured the house, with all the equity, furniture, keeping insurance on the kids etc. would be enough. Not so I reckon.

She reneged on the previous agreement, go nuclear. if she's gold digging, you can too since she makes more money.

Sorry to hear my friend.

[snide]

https://sayingimages.com/wp-content/uploads/i-dont-always-divorce-memes.jpg






https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/proxy/YROcpeAQKD85dVC3iY-stnsXZKZPWwFLSdDSt1vlMdoytorP0khtmZ_nGYPOQQtttFIRx7AdW3Ptw2j8cLOfyUgBiEcoi_IYgiJhDh9M9A0buK-bueIU8PGc7Y1SbN27NrWET0KsYOtG_rQaENKH68e-Pd0TJKWIFL2FXOPikxn--yR6cHY
The big mistake was getting married. :yesnod::funnier::funnier:
I was never anything more than supplemental income.:sadangel:
That's all we ever are. :yesnod:

There's no point in trying to be fair, in a divorce situation. The more you give, the more they'll take. Whether her lawyer tells her she can get more, or her friends tell her that she's entitled to everything. Doesn't matter if you cheated or not, or if she cheated or not. As far as she's concerned, YOU OWE HER!

However, you don't owe her shit. Take care of the youngest kid, obviously. Since she clearly wants to ruin you financially, do the same to her. Sell the house, pay off the debts. Walk away from this with as little debt as possible.

Don't worry about her being in financial ruin when the dust settles. She has a vagina that she'll use to get financial security from someone else. :yesnod:

Good luck to you! :thumbs::thumbs:

:cheers:

[snide]

Oh, and why is divorce so damn expensive? Because, it's ****ing worth it! :yesnod:

[Stangkiller]

Why the f would you give up your retirement without tapping into hers, if shes making more than you, seek alimony....stay strong, otherwise youll regret it during retirement when you really need it.

Hope to buy you a beer on my next trip up to blueridge. :cheers:

[BOTY]

Joint custody and **** that child support ad well.

:yesnod:

[BADRACR1]

As a two time veteran only advice I can give is : Lawyer up. Strike first. Strike fast. Show no mercy.
It is war.

First time ex got house, her car and the kids. I got my two cars, my stuff, visitation rights, child support and insurance on the kids.

Second time, no kids involved. She got her car and stuff, half the bank account. I got the other three cars, house, and most of the furniture.

[ZipZap]

She and I had an "agreement" that she amended. I gave it to my lawyer and he sent it to hers. I agreed to give her everything but keeping dental on the kids (one 20, youngest 17) which she already covers and to give me 30 days from signing the divorce to get my stuff off the property. That was after I agreed to literally give her everything else and 30% of my .mil retirement. I suppose if the judge wants to give her 50%, then so be it. I figured the house, with all the equity, furniture, keeping insurance on the kids etc. would be enough. Not so I reckon.

My overwhelming advice is to handle this as business, rather than emotionally driven. I know that's difficult, as I have been in your place.

Have the attorneys draw up a 50/50 deal, with consideration of your kid's education. This includes all assets and liabilities, including both retirements on the asset side. If her attorney, or her, refuses to do so, then go to court and show that she and her attorney are not negotiating with good faith.

Don't know where you live, but the divorce settlements theses days when both spouses are capable of supporting themselves are much more equitable.

The back story of you getting out to support her, as well as other verbal commitments, are meaningless at this point. Just go with the current data and situation. Current judges are pretty sensitive to someone trying to f the other person over. I think some lawyers work on the folklore of the "wife cleaning you out" to get a better agreed settlement from the husband because the husband feels he starts behind the eight ball.

Be fair. Be aggressive when necessary. Find a lawyer that will represent you without sucking your tit for a year or more.:seasix:

[Mike Mercury]

in my state... if your retirement is say.... worth $5000/month, and the future ex's retirement fund is worth $3000/month.... she would get $1000/month (half the difference) of yours. It can be deferred until you actually retire, or you can offer the bitch a lump sum at the time of the divorce.

if given monthly, a lump sum value is set and she'd get the $1000/month until this lump value is reached. The values/lump sum is calculated on what it grew during the time you were actually married.

[Burro (He/Haw)]

in my state... if your retirement is say.... worth $5000/month... and the future ex's retirement fund is worth $3000/month.... she would get $1000/month (half the difference) of yours. It can be deferred until you actually retire... or you can offer the bitch a lump sum at the time of the divorce.

if given monthly, a lump sum value is set and she'd get the $1000/month until this lump value is reached.

I've got a horror story for you. A guy in my department got a divorce about five years ago. His wife never worked so he got saddled with maintenance. Through their lawyers they worked out a lump sum value and he paid it. A year later she tipped over dead. They never had kids so the money went to her family.

[69camfrk]

I've got a horror story for you. A guy in my department got a divorce about five years ago. His wife never worked so he got saddled with maintenance. Through their lawyers they worked out a lump sum value and he paid it. A year later she tipped over dead. They never had kids so the money went to her family.

Wow. I ensured that she was able to have her own career. She is greedy, and has been. Considering what all I was giving her, it just blows me away that she moves the goal posts every time I think we are making progress. This is the 3rd time she has changed her demands. I'm done with it. I guess the lawyers will get richer while we get poorer.

[Burro (He/Haw)]

Wow. I ensured that she was able to have her own career. She is greedy, and has been. Considering what all I was giving her, it just blows me away that she moves the goal posts every time I think we are making progress. This is the 3rd time she has changed her demands. I'm done with it. I guess the lawyers will get richer while we get poorer.

This guy was an SRO. Senior Reactor Operator. He made some bank. The lump sum was a BIG number. They had to hire an damn actuary to estimate her life expectancy, her risk factors, blah blah blah. A year later the bitch tips over dead. Can you imagine? :eek:

[Mike Mercury]

during my first marriage (where I ended up with complete kidney failure)... I was on dialysis - only working 20-25 hrs a week. Just when I got approved for a transplant - that's when my future ex filed for divorce. I could of gotten alimony from her and milked it for decades, but I wasn't raised like that.

Our house had no equity, so I got it (and the mortgage) and practically all the furnishings. We each had cars, both with loans... and each kept our associated vehicle. Both too young to have any retirement funds to worry about.

I ended up benefiting from the agreement, as the house appreciated greatly (after I did some improvements).

[Dan47]

I've got a horror story for you. A guy in my department got a divorce about five years ago. His wife never worked so he got saddled with maintenance. Through their lawyers they worked out a lump sum value and he paid it. A year later she tipped over dead. They never had kids so the money went to her family.

Had a friend who’s wife was cheating on him while he was deployed. She eventually told him and left with her new squeeze. He left the service but still had SGLI while he was on terminal leave and hadn’t updated the beneficiary. Tragically, he was killed in a car accident not long after and his ex received his life insurance bennies.

That shit would cause me to haunt the bitch if possible.

[Mike Mercury]

a lump sum value and he paid it. A year later she tipped over dead... money went to her family.

:eek:

[Burro (He/Haw)]

hadn’t updated the beneficiary. .

I redid all that and my will during my divorce. My attorney told me you'd be surprised how many ex wives suddenly appear out of nowhere hoping the ex didn't update his will or beneficiaries. I'm talking marriages that have been over and done for 20 years.

[Dan47]

I redid all that and my will during my divorce. My attorney told me you'd be surprised how many ex wives suddenly appear out of nowhere hoping the ex didn't update his will or beneficiaries. I'm talking marriages that have been over and done for 20 years.

I just dropped life insurance entirely. Not safe being worth more dead than alive. :lol:

[Mike Mercury]

Not safe being worth more dead than alive. :lol:




https://i.chzbgr.com/full/8799237120/h8D787195/you-got-new-life-insurance-policy-good

[dwjz06]

The big mistake was getting married. :yesnod::funnier::funnier:

That's all we ever are. :yesnod:

There's no point in trying to be fair, in a divorce situation. The more you give, the more they'll take. Whether her lawyer tells her she can get more, or her friends tell her that she's entitled to everything. Doesn't matter if you cheated or not, or if she cheated or not. As far as she's concerned, YOU OWE HER!

However, you don't owe her shit. Take care of the youngest kid, obviously. Since she clearly wants to ruin you financially, do the same to her. Sell the house, pay off the debts. Walk away from this with as little debt as possible.

Don't worry about her being in financial ruin when the dust settles. She has a vagina that she'll use to get financial security from someone else. :yesnod:

Good luck to you! :thumbs::thumbs:

:cheers:Fuggin spot on:cert:

Oh, and why is divorce so damn expensive? Because, it's ****ing worth it! :yesnod::sadangel: Not sure on this.:lol: That 200K plus looked better in my account:kick::D

[Mike Mercury]

Whether her lawyer tells her she can get more, or her friends tell her that she's entitled to everything.... As far as she's concerned, YOU OWE HER!




point.

[Grey Ghost]

I hope it doesn't drag out much longer for you and you can get on with your life.

[Aerovette]

My overwhelming advice is to handle this as business, rather than emotionally driven. I know that's difficult, as I have been in your place.

Have the attorneys draw up a 50/50 deal, with consideration of your kid's education. This includes all assets and liabilities, including both retirements on the asset side. If her attorney, or her, refuses to do so, then go to court and show that she and her attorney are not negotiating with good faith.

Don't know where you live, but the divorce settlements theses days when both spouses are capable of supporting themselves are much more equitable.

The back story of you getting out to support her, as well as other verbal commitments, are meaningless at this point. Just go with the current data and situation. Current judges are pretty sensitive to someone trying to f the other person over. I think some lawyers work on the folklore of the "wife cleaning you out" to get a better agreed settlement from the husband because the husband feels he starts behind the eight ball.

Be fair. Be aggressive when necessary. Find a lawyer that will represent you without sucking your tit for a year or more.:seasix:

The bold part.:seasix:

I did what I could to keep her from leaving but once she did, the divorce terms simply became a math problem.

[dwjz06]

You guys want to read some painful chit. Check it out. Just read some of the crap guys are put through. http://www.realworlddivorce.com/

Fuggin teaching women it is ok to fleece a man for life kinda chit. Look at your state. Tell every fricken young guy you know. Do not marry and have a vesectomy right NOW! :pain:

[Ronins2ndCuzzin]

Think you got it rough? Bill and Melinda Gates are divorcing. I guess she didn't want the VAX after all. :D

Or she just wants to party with Bezos' ex. Still feel for you OP. Hang in there.

[Mike Mercury]

https://i.imgflip.com/27g36r.jpg

[dvarapala]

Think you got it rough? Bill and Melinda Gates are divorcing.

You think divorce is "rough" for billionaires like Gates and Bezos? Even if they give away half their shit they are still in the top 1% richest people in the world. They have multiple homes so they don't have to continue living with their ex-spouse. They have no problem paying the lawyer's fees. Their lawyers handle all the negotiations and their lives are as minimally impacted as humanly possible - no worse than breaking up with a girlfriend.

[Will]

Had a friend who’s wife was cheating on him while he was deployed. She eventually told him and left with her new squeeze. He left the service but still had SGLI while he was on terminal leave and hadn’t updated the beneficiary. Tragically, he was killed in a car accident not long after and his ex received his life insurance bennies.

That shit would cause me to haunt the bitch if possible.

Whores who cheat on deployed spouses should be hung from lamp-posts.

Sad. :sadangel:

[JetMechZ16]

Whores who cheat on deployed spouses should be hung from lamp-posts.

Sad. :sadangel:

I was sent to the USS Iwo Jima mid deployment because the AD1 I was replacing walked into the tail rotor of a Cobra after receiving word that his wife was divorcing him.

[Craig]

Whores who cheat on deployed spouses should be hung from lamp-posts.

Sad. :sadangel:

When I was in the Navy I was on a ballistic missile sub, two crews, one boat. The whole crew got called out to a muster one day and the CO told a story. It turns out a single guy from one of the crews was boning a wife whose guy was on the other crew. It ended in divorce, but the punchline was the single guy was court marshaled, reduced in rank, and ordered to pay the other guy's alimony and child support. The CO suggested that everyone learn from that story.

[Thunder22]

I was sent to the USS Iwo Jima mid deployment because the AD1 I was replacing walked into the tail rotor of a Cobra after receiving word that his wife was divorcing him.

Holy. Sh*t.

[Ronins2ndCuzzin]

You think divorce is "rough" for billionaires like Gates and Bezos? Even if they give away half their shit they are still in the top 1% richest people in the world. They have multiple homes so they don't have to continue living with their ex-spouse. They have no problem paying the lawyer's fees. Their lawyers handle all the negotiations and their lives are as minimally impacted as humanly possible - no worse than breaking up with a girlfriend.

Fair point. :cert:

[Dan47]

When I was in the Navy I was on a ballistic missile sub, two crews, one boat. The whole crew got called out to a muster one day and the CO told a story. It turns out a single guy from one of the crews was boning a wife whose guy was on the other crew. It ended in divorce, but the punchline was the single guy was court marshaled, reduced in rank, and ordered to pay the other guy's alimony and child support. The CO suggested that everyone learn from that story.

Sounds like good leadership. I witnessed the opposite. A non-deployed E3 had moved into post housing with one of our soldier’s wives who happened to be married to an E5 and the chain of command didn’t do shit. The E5 moved into the barracks and the E3 continued to live in his housing. WTF?

The unit was being drawn down and the kaserne closed so maybe that had something to do with the lack of action or maybe something happened that I’m not aware of? Don’t know but had I been in charge, that shithead would have been forcibly removed from housing immediately.

It went on for at least a month that I’m aware of but I had to go to a military course and when I returned, the unit was down to a handful of folks.

That said, feels like we are beating up on women? Lots of shitty guy’s out there too. :shots:

[dwjz06]

Sounds like good leadership. I witnessed the opposite. A non-deployed E3 had moved into post housing with one of our soldier’s wives who happened to be married to an E5 and the chain of command didn’t do shit. The E5 moved into the barracks and the E3 continued to live in his housing. WTF?

The unit was being drawn down and the kaserne closed so maybe that had something to do with the lack of action or maybe something happened that I’m not aware of? Don’t know but had I been in charge, that shithead would have been forcibly removed from housing immediately.

It went on for at least a month that I’m aware of but I had to go to a military course and when I returned, the unit was down to a handful of folks.

That said, feels like we are beating up on women? Lots of shitty guy’s out there too. :shots:Takes two to tango right. He did not move in there on his own. There are more women that screw men over. The statistics bear this out. Over 80% of women file for divorce. It is only going to get worse. Check out some of the scenarios in my post in some of these states that fuggin make men slaves for life to child support and alice isn't horny anymore money aka=(alimony)

[Dan47]

Takes two to tango right. He did not move in there on his own. There are more women that screw men over. The statistics bear this out. Over 80% of women file for divorce. It is only going to get worse. Check out some of the scenarios in my post in some of these states that fuggin make men slaves for life to child support and alice isn't horny money anymore(alimony)

No doubt, government incentives encourage and ensure it. I knew a couple of divorced guys that lived in an attic together. They said when the wind was 25mph outside, it was 15mph in their "apartment". Child support is a mofo. :rofl:

[dwjz06]

No doubt, government incentives encourage and ensure it. I knew a couple of divorced guys that lived in an attic together. They said when the wind was 25mph outside, it was 15mph in their "apartment". Child support is a mofo. :rofl:

Yes sir it is. Two left. You know the money is not even the worst part. The alienation from your kids is the worst part. In 90% of the cases the mother that filed gets the kids. She can make it damn near impossible to have the same relationship you had with them before divorce, and then introduce the new dick to the mix, and it just sucks. Men are just a paycheck. You get screwed over because she changed her mind etc... It is just a pile of chit for men in divorce. You can make back the money, but you can never get back the time lost or the relationship cost from losing your kids to this crap:sadangel:

[69camfrk]

Yes sir it is. Two left. You know the money is not even the worst part. The alienation from your kids is the worst part. In 90% of the case the mother that filed gets the kids. She can make it damn near impossible to have the same relationship you had with them before divorce, and then introduce the new dick to the mix, and it just sucks. Men are just a paycheck. You get screwed over because she changed her mind etc... It is just a pile of chit for men in divorce. You can make back the money, but you can never get back the time lost or the relationship cost from losing your kids.:sadangel:

And there is the sad truth of it.....

[dwjz06]

And there is the sad truth of it.....Sorry sir. I was pretty sad to find this out myself after investing 20 plus years:sadangel:

[BayouCountry]

And there is the sad truth of it.....

Yep. I got the story after my divorce from a SIL. They basically said to the love of my life: "He owns a house, marry him!"

To make a long story short. I worked many hours on my job and buying rental properties only to be told I didn't spend enough time with my wife. She seemed to be pretty busy drinking with her sisters while I was at work.

Hopefully things are settling down for you. Hang tough.

[snide]

Yep. I got the story after my divorce from a SIL. They basically said to the love of my life: "He owns a house, marry him!"

To make a long story short. I worked many hours on my job and buying rental properties only to be told I didn't spend enough time with my wife. She seemed to be pretty busy drinking with her sisters while I was at work.

Hopefully things are settling down for you. Hang tough.

Could have been worse. She could have been out banging other dudes.

[snide]

https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/www.corvetteforum.com-vbulletin/960x824/95346515_2482316435352038_976715884263374848_n_3d6f429f44ebdd86a58792181197234ccbabcca8.jpg
:funnier::funnier::funnier::leaving:

[z06psi]

Oh look.

A new divorcee thread.

:yesnod:

[dwjz06]

Oh look.

A new divorcee thread.

:yesnod:oh look azzhole is back:D i know you like to think you are smarter than your wife, but she could have boned your azz too. Any dude can have this happen. It is a coin toss. How many troops did you watch go through this chit?:confused5: sorry for anyone that has to deal with it. Especially for the guys that have kids involved.

[bsmith]

Yes sir it is. Two left. You know the money is not even the worst part. The alienation from your kids is the worst part. In 90% of the cases the mother that filed gets the kids. She can make it damn near impossible to have the same relationship you had with them before divorce, and then introduce the new dick to the mix, and it just sucks. Men are just a paycheck. You get screwed over because she changed her mind etc... It is just a pile of chit for men in divorce. You can make back the money, but you can never get back the time lost or the relationship cost from losing your kids to this crap:sadangel:

Neighbors got divorced a couple years ago.
She claimed he was a drug addict and abusive (we never saw anything) and she had it so he could only have supervised visitation.
Fast forward a while and she has a new boyfriend and suddenly she's sending the girls with their dad so she can go party like she's 20 again.


Heard about a picture the youngest drew in church recently that had her and her sister and their dad. Mom nowhere to be seen.
I think that says a lot.

[BayouCountry]

Could have been worse. She could have been out banging other dudes.

That happened later with the little league coach.

[BayouCountry]

Neighbors got divorced a couple years ago.
She claimed he was a drug addict and abusive (we never saw anything) and she had it so he could only have supervised visitation.
Fast forward a while and she has a new boyfriend and suddenly she's sending the girls with their dad so she can go party like she's 20 again.


Heard about a picture the youngest drew in church recently that had her and her sister and their dad. Mom nowhere to be seen.
I think that says a lot.

My daughter wrote me a letter asking to move in with me because her mom was drinking too much. I took full custody of my daughter when she was about nine. Her younger half sister “adopted” me. She called me dad in front of her father and still calls me dad to this day. Both girls are doing fine so I guess everything works out ok in the end.

[z06psi]

oh look azzhole is back:D i know you like to think you are smarter than your wife, but she could have boned your azz too. Any dude can have this happen. It is a coin toss. How many troops did you watch go through this chit?:confused5: sorry for anyone that has to deal with it. Especially for the guys that have kids involved.I boned her so well she came back.

:leaving:

[Burro (He/Haw)]

If you can't out think your wife and stay one step ahead then you are a dumbass.

NAV? You're an idiot. :yesnod: Sasnglass77? Drool bucket. :Jeff '79: LisaJohn? How the view from the short bus? Hockey helmet fit OK? :funniest:

z06psi, you got that dumb bitch you married in the kitchen making you a pie? Atta boy! :cert: :spdchk:

[Iron Chef]

"Drool bucket"

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

Fukin' Thomas...

[z06psi]

NAV? You're an idiot. :yesnod: Sasnglass77? Drool bucket. :Jeff '79: LisaJohn? How the view from the short bus? Hockey helmet fit OK? :funniest:



z06psi, you got that dumb bitch you married in the kitchen making you a pie? Atta boy! :cert: :spdchk:Sounds like someone got bested by their wife.

:yesnod:

[Burro (He/Haw)]

"Drool bucket"

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

Fukin' Thomas...

We all know how stupid women are right? :rofl:

Meh. He's just another dipshit with a size 50 shirt and size 2 hat. World's full of 'em. :cert:

[Anjdog2003]

Just to let you know, Need-A-Vette is my future ex-wife. :yesnod:

[The_Dude]

Just to let you know, Need-A-Vette is my future ex-wife. :yesnod:

Does NEED-A-VETTE know this?

[NEED-A-VETTE]

Does NEED-A-VETTE know this?

56409

:leaving:

[Rikki Z-06]

56409

:leaving:

:funniest::funniest::funniest:

[Anjdog2003]

56409

:leaving:




So I'll take that as you'll think about it. :angel:

[snide]

I boned her so well she came back.

:leaving:

So did I, but she felt sorry for your ugly ass. :yesnod:

[snide]

NAV? You're an idiot. :yesnod: Sasnglass77? Drool bucket. :Jeff '79: LisaJohn? How the view from the short bus? Hockey helmet fit OK? :funniest:

z06psi, you got that dumb bitch you married in the kitchen making you a pie? Atta boy! :cert: :spdchk:

You want I send her your way? :bigears:

[dwjz06]

So I'll take that as you'll think about it. :angel::lol: looks like you still have a shot:D

So did I, but she felt sorry for your ugly ass. :yesnod::lol:

You want I send her your way? :bigears::D

[z06psi]

So did I, but she felt sorry for your ugly ass. :yesnod:Brah, have you looked in the mirror?

Honest question.

[Jeff '79]

Brah, have you looked in the mirror?

Honest question.

:waiting:

[snide]

https://cimg9.ibsrv.net/gimg/www.corvetteforum.com-vbulletin/500x500/yoda_luke_not_afraid_of_wife_you_will_be_09798b4332b40bbeb828647cb4f627e41161dd67.jpg

:yesnod:

[dwjz06]

https://cimg9.ibsrv.net/gimg/www.corvetteforum.com-vbulletin/500x500/yoda_luke_not_afraid_of_wife_you_will_be_09798b4332b40bbeb828647cb4f627e41161dd67.jpg

:yesnod::seasix::rofl:

[simpleman68]

Damn James.... really sorry to hear the news. :sadangel:

At no point in life does anyone need that type of ageda.
Scott

[69camfrk]

Damn James.... really sorry to hear the news. :sadangel:

At no point in life does anyone need that type of ageda.
Scott

Thanks Scott. It is all going to be ok. She definitely doesn't appreciate the fact that I gave up a career so she could have hers, but hey what the heck. I was a paycheck for her, and will continue to be one until I die. I hope she is happy with that.

[snide]

Thanks Scott. It is all going to be ok. She definitely doesn't appreciate the fact that I gave up a career so she could have hers, but hey what the heck. I was a paycheck for her, and will continue to be one until I die. I hope she is happy with that.
You need a better lawyer.

[dwjz06]

Thanks Scott. It is all going to be ok. She definitely doesn't appreciate the fact that I gave up a career so she could have hers, but hey what the heck. I was a paycheck for her, and will continue to be one until I die. I hope she is happy with that.Don't be. See the funny thing is they are never happy. It is never enough. Feck em. Get the meanest azz lawyer you can find and fight back. Best of luck sir.

[BayouCountry]

You need a better lawyer.

Agree. Get another lawyer.

From what I understand, the higher bread winner pays the alimony. Each state is different, but times have changed where ex-wives now pay alimony. A lady I worked with was one of those. Her husband didn't make the major leagues and she was supporting him.