How to save toilet paper during the pandemic

[VITE1]

With all this hoarding of TP going on I would like to pass on a lesson taught to me when I was a boy scout by a grizzled 2 war veteran on how to conserve TP.

First take only 1 square of TP and form it into a tee pee shape.

Then tear off the very top.

Now take that piece and stick in behind your right ear.

Now insert your left index finger into the hole and get the TP snug against your knuckle.

Now wipe your butt with your finer

Take the TP around your knuckle and wipe the finger off.

Now take with the piece from behind your right ear and clean under your finger nail on your left index finger.

You are now clean and the roll will last nearly a year.

[Rob]

:rofl:

this thread is good w/o pics

[04 commemorative]

:willy: :smash:

[boracayjohnny]

According to those instructions, a better way to save TP is just use the finger. Using one sheet is about the same as none.

[Mike Mercury]

https://scontent-lga3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/89067357_10219238934317981_605889558977970176_n.jpg?_nc_cat=104&_nc_sid=8024bb&_nc_oc=AQmqHR815TWde-qpO5fNvul86UVSdaY5M__hPbgLZPC1NSuz9Z38HMxA3zZm9ido3h0&_nc_ht=scontent-lga3-1.xx&oh=ff1f34c51a73d5db3c821cb67f0ffdb1&oe=5E901420

[ThePirate]

According to those instructions, a better way to save TP is just use the finger. Using one sheet is about the same as none.


If you put water on your finger before you clean with it you'll be kissing fresh. Just ask the bidet owners.
:waiting:

[Egnalf]

Remove the strainer in your shower drain. Drop deuce down drainpipe. Shower as usual taking care to thoroughly flush the backside with clean water. Your poopturd has been washed away and no tp used. :rofl::leaving:

[MikeB]

"poopturd"

Isn't that a double negative?

[MrPeabody]

We need toilet paper because there are no Sears catalogs or phone books anymore.:yesnod:

[SubZero]

goes twice as far if you use both sides :lilred:

[Old Ben]

We need toilet paper because there are no Sears catalogs or phone books anymore.:yesnod:

Exactly. :yesnod:

[Murray]

40514

[Bill]

https://i.imgur.com/bxya1hv.jpg

[Cybercowboy]

Remove the strainer in your shower drain. Drop deuce down drainpipe. Shower as usual taking care to thoroughly flush the backside with clean water. Your poopturd has been washed away and no tp used. :rofl::leaving:

No need to remove the strainer. Just poop and stomp the log(s) through very carefully, using both feet so that neither gets too poop-stained. Then rinse your shampoo off so that it makes foamy areas in your shower, and drag your shitty feet through that, scraping against each other as needed. Return to the drain strainer and make sure all poop is gone, careful inspection is required here. Get right in there to make sure. Once you have done all that, your butt will already be rinsed off by all the movement you have made stomping/scraping/inspecting. But to make sure, use your wife's loofah to finish up.

[Aerovette]

The company I called to pick up dog poop in the backyard just realized I don't have a dog.

[MrPeabody]

No need to remove the strainer. Just poop and stomp the log(s) through very carefully, using both feet so that neither gets too poop-stained. Then rinse your shampoo off so that it makes foamy areas in your shower, and drag your shitty feet through that, scraping against each other as needed. Return to the drain strainer and make sure all poop is gone, careful inspection is required here. Get right in there to make sure. Once you have done all that, your butt will already be rinsed off by all the movement you have made stomping/scraping/inspecting. But to make sure, use your wife's loofah to finish up.

Wasn't there a Sanchez thread about this years ago over at CF?

[boracayjohnny]

Sanchez, now there's a name I haven't thought of for a minute. Mofo could spin some :Jeff '79: tales.

[snide]

Whatever happened to sanchez? :bigears: