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View Full Version : I'm old and pissed...


lspencer534
01-29-2020, 5:16pm
I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I’m too old to track down terrorists. You can’t be older than 42 to join the military. They’ve got the whole thing backwards.

Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn’t be able to join a military unit until you’re at least 35.

For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every ten seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a month, leaving us more than 280,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven’t lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. ‘My back hurts! I can’t sleep, I’m tired and hungry.’ Were bad-tempered and impatient, and maybe letting us kill some ***hole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while…..

An 18-year-old doesn’t even like to get up before 10am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said. I’m tired and can’t sleep and since I’m already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-b*tch.

If captured we couldn’t spill the beans because we’d forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys…. We’re used to getting screamed and yelled at and we’re used to soft food. We’ve also developed an appreciation for guns. We’ve been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however…… I’ve been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any push-ups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too…… I’ve never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He’s still learning to shave or to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn’t figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm’s way.

Let us old guys track down those terrorists…… The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million hacked off old farts with bad attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already behind them.

HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50…. in menopause! You think MEN have attitudes? Ohhhhhhhh my goodness!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They’ll have it secured the first night!

BOTY
01-29-2020, 5:23pm
:rofl: :rofl:

Mr.Bigg
01-29-2020, 5:35pm
You're on to something there.

Egnalf
01-29-2020, 5:43pm
ok, boomer.
What happens when you lay down to shoot and need three people to help you get back up? doesn't that risk the lives of other boomers?
What happens when your boots come untied, who will be there to retie them?
What about personell carrier trucks, will you drive them with your turn signal going and at ten miles per hour under the limit? seems risky to the other boomers in the back.

Rikki Z-06
01-29-2020, 6:23pm
:rofl: :rofl:

:withstupid:

:rofl::rofl:

z06psi
01-29-2020, 6:31pm
An 18 year old is mold-able.


You're an old cranky dog and not teachable.

YW:yesnod:

MadInNc
01-29-2020, 6:50pm
An 18 year old is mold-able.


You're an old cranky dog and not teachable.

YW:yesnod:

Can he fly a plane?

BOTY
01-29-2020, 6:54pm
Can he fly a plane?

Can anyone anymore ?

DAB
01-29-2020, 7:07pm
and old farts likely have their own guns, so let them bring them and save money for ammo.

69camfrk
01-29-2020, 7:07pm
ok, boomer.
What happens when you lay down to shoot and need three people to help you get back up? doesn't that risk the lives of other boomers?
What happens when your boots come untied, who will be there to retie them?
What about personell carrier trucks, will you drive them with your turn signal going and at ten miles per hour under the limit? seems risky to the other boomers in the back.

In theory it would be great, but having given the .mil the best years of my life (23 years of them), my knees are shot, my back is shot out between L4 and L5, with continuous sciatic pain, my right shoulder rotator cuff is torn, which I did on my last deployment in 2015. Yeah, you kind of time out being in the military, well unless you had some kind of office job where the rubber didn't meet the road, or anything else. Nice try Spence, but we've timed out....

Mick
01-29-2020, 7:09pm
What happens when your boots come untied, who will be there to retie them?

I'm pretty sure that modern combat boots don't have laces. Millennials can't tie them either, so there is no increment here.

MrPeabody
01-29-2020, 7:16pm
Can he fly a plane?

Actually with drones, video gaming skills are more important.:yesnod:

Rodnok1
01-29-2020, 8:21pm
Old people cheat...


I say group women soldiers together by red tide time and set them loose at the appropriate time...
I know it's cruel and unusual punishment for our enemies....

:hide:

A/E
01-30-2020, 6:12am
Dude,

You're already enrolled in your local chapter of the over 42 old Special OPs Force.

When the Shit Hits the Fan...

38107

We will prevail.

And Wear OUR medals of Bravery, Courage, and Bommerism with Pride.