Joke...

[lspencer534]

A woman passed her daughter's room and heard a strange buzzing noise. Opening the door, she saw her daughter using a vibrator. Shocked, she asked, "Why???".

The daughter replied, "Mom, I'm thirty-five-years old, unmarried, and this thing is as close as I'll ever get to a husband. So, please, leave me alone."

The next day, the father heard the same sound; upon entering his daughter's room, he saw the same scene. To his query, his daughter again said, "Dad, I'm thirty-five, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I will ever get to a husband. Please, leave me alone."

A couple of days later the wife came home from shopping and heard that buzzing noise coming from the living room.

Upon entering she saw her husband sitting on the couch, sipping a cold beer and staring at the TV. Thr vibrator was next to him on the couch, buzzing like crazy.

"Wat the Hell are you doing?!?".

The husband replied, "I'm watching some football with my son-in-law....".

[04 commemorative]

funny

[Wathen1955]

Some of these are probably old, but what the hell...

A tourist goes to an Indian reservation to visit the local Indians. As he passes one tee-pee, he see an Indian sitting down saying "chance", "chance", to all the women passing by him. Puzzled by this, the tourist approaches the Indian and asks, "don't Indians say how?" The Indian replies, "me know how, just want chance."

Why to rodeo cowboys make such lousy lovers? Because they think three seconds is a good ride!

How do find a old man in a nudist colony? It isn't hard.

What can a bird do that a man cannot? Eat with his pecker!

Definition of trust: Two cannibals having oral sex.

BOOK TITLES

1. Under the Grandstand by Seymour Butts
2. Brown Spots on the Wall by Who-Flung-Dung
3. How to Fish by Captain Blue Balls
4. Antlers in the Tree Tops by Who-Goosed-The Moose
5. The Gas Station by Who-Pumped-Ethyl
6. Balls in the Mattress by Mister Completely

A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?" "Of course not, dear." replied the mother, "Why would you think that?" "The tombstone back there said 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'"

While doing a vasectomy, the doctor slipped and cut off one of the man's balls. To avoid a huge malpractice suit, he decides to replace the missing ball with an onion. Several weeks later, the patient returned for a checkup. "How's your sex life?" the doctor asked. "Pretty good," the man said, to the doctor's relief. But then he added, "I've had some strange side effects." "What's that that?" the doctors asked anxiously. "Well, every time I piss, my eyes water. When my wife gives me a blow job, she gets heartburn. And
every time I pass a hamburger stand, I get a hard-on."

[Black95]

You missed a couple of Book Titles:
Russian Love by Tora Titoff
The Amber Stream by I.P. Standing
The China Problem by Won Hung Lo