lspencer534
09-14-2017, 12:12pm
I've had it with "Mr. FootLong"! He's about to meet the guillotine! Every man thinks its a blessing and a gift to have a big Baloney Pony, but it's not, and here's why:
1. I have never been deep-throated. Never. Well, one woman tried and then had the dry heaves. Or had anal sex.
http://i68.tinypic.com/9id1th.jpg
2. When you sit on the toilet, about 70% of your Kickstand touches the water, and my toilet paper bill is horrendous because that's something else you have to wipe.
13389
3. When you're doing jumping jacks and it smacks you in the chest and you have to check if you broke a rib because your dick Moisture and Heat-seeking Venomous Throbbing Python of Love is so massive.
4. When you walk into Starbucks and someone accidentally orders a "grande penis" instead of a blueberry scone because they were looking at your One-eyed Wonder Weasel.
13385
5. When you scratch your ankle but end up scratching your Pink Oboe.
6. When you're trying to leave footprints in the sand, but your huge Schlong Dongadoodle leaves a long trail in the middle of each print.
13384
7. When you go to CVS to buy condoms and they point you in the direction of the tarps, which are not lubricated and also don't come with spermicide.
13387
8. You can't wear shorts, sweatpants, jeans that fit, or Khakis because everyone can see Mr. Wiener Schnitzel's outline, and they think you're showing off.
13386
9. ****ing a virgin is out of the question. You ever try to put your Disco Stick in a tight ***** and she's sobbing and screaming and hitting and kicking you?
13388
10. You don't know if a woman loves you for yourself or for your Deep-V Diver. (Hey...I'm a sensitive guy.)
Anybody know Lorena Bobbitt's number? Probably cheaper to have her cut out 3 or 4 inches of my Ramburglar and then reattach it than to pay a doctor to do the entire operation.
1. I have never been deep-throated. Never. Well, one woman tried and then had the dry heaves. Or had anal sex.
http://i68.tinypic.com/9id1th.jpg
2. When you sit on the toilet, about 70% of your Kickstand touches the water, and my toilet paper bill is horrendous because that's something else you have to wipe.
13389
3. When you're doing jumping jacks and it smacks you in the chest and you have to check if you broke a rib because your dick Moisture and Heat-seeking Venomous Throbbing Python of Love is so massive.
4. When you walk into Starbucks and someone accidentally orders a "grande penis" instead of a blueberry scone because they were looking at your One-eyed Wonder Weasel.
13385
5. When you scratch your ankle but end up scratching your Pink Oboe.
6. When you're trying to leave footprints in the sand, but your huge Schlong Dongadoodle leaves a long trail in the middle of each print.
13384
7. When you go to CVS to buy condoms and they point you in the direction of the tarps, which are not lubricated and also don't come with spermicide.
13387
8. You can't wear shorts, sweatpants, jeans that fit, or Khakis because everyone can see Mr. Wiener Schnitzel's outline, and they think you're showing off.
13386
9. ****ing a virgin is out of the question. You ever try to put your Disco Stick in a tight ***** and she's sobbing and screaming and hitting and kicking you?
13388
10. You don't know if a woman loves you for yourself or for your Deep-V Diver. (Hey...I'm a sensitive guy.)
Anybody know Lorena Bobbitt's number? Probably cheaper to have her cut out 3 or 4 inches of my Ramburglar and then reattach it than to pay a doctor to do the entire operation.