Jeff '79
02-04-2017, 12:01pm
This reportedly is an actual letter received by the Canadian Passport
Office, from an irate Newfoundlander attempting to renew his passport.
Dear Sirs,
I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this.
How is it that Bell-Alliant has my address and telephone number and knows
that I bought a friggin' satellite dish from them back in 1977, and yet, the
Canadian Government is still asking me where I was friggin' born and on what
date.
For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have on my
pension checks, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the
past 30 years. It is on my Health card, my driving license, my car
insurance, on the last eight damn passports I've had, on all those stupid
customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the
plane over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms.
Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is
Mary Anne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be absolutely ****ing
astounded if that ever changed between now and when I die !!
I apologise, I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you an' me, I've
had enough of this bullshit!
You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my ****ing address
!!
What is going on? Do you have a gang of Neanderthal arseholes workin' there?
Look at my damn picture.
Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for shit
sakes. I just want to go and park my arse on some sandy beach somewhere.
And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan
on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do
something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, you'd be the last
****ing people I'd want to tell!
Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the friggin
city to get another ****ing copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of
$35. Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to
assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day??
Nooooooooooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make sense. You'd rather
have us running all over the ****in' place like chickens with our heads cut
off, then have to find some arsehole to confirm that it's really me on the
damn picture - you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile?
Bureaucratic ****in' morons..
Hey, do you know why we couldn't smile if we wanted to? Because we're
totally pissed off!
Signed ...
An Irate Canadian Citizen.
P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to
confirm that it's me?
Well, my family has been in Newfoundland since 1497 and I've been a Canadian
Citizen since 1949 ...... I have served in the military for something over
30 years and have had full security clearances over 25 of those years
enabling me to undertake highly secretive missions all over the world.
....However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am - you
know, someone like my doctor - WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN ****ING PAKISTAN
Office, from an irate Newfoundlander attempting to renew his passport.
Dear Sirs,
I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this.
How is it that Bell-Alliant has my address and telephone number and knows
that I bought a friggin' satellite dish from them back in 1977, and yet, the
Canadian Government is still asking me where I was friggin' born and on what
date.
For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have on my
pension checks, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the
past 30 years. It is on my Health card, my driving license, my car
insurance, on the last eight damn passports I've had, on all those stupid
customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the
plane over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms.
Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is
Mary Anne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be absolutely ****ing
astounded if that ever changed between now and when I die !!
I apologise, I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you an' me, I've
had enough of this bullshit!
You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my ****ing address
!!
What is going on? Do you have a gang of Neanderthal arseholes workin' there?
Look at my damn picture.
Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for shit
sakes. I just want to go and park my arse on some sandy beach somewhere.
And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan
on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do
something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, you'd be the last
****ing people I'd want to tell!
Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the friggin
city to get another ****ing copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of
$35. Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to
assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day??
Nooooooooooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make sense. You'd rather
have us running all over the ****in' place like chickens with our heads cut
off, then have to find some arsehole to confirm that it's really me on the
damn picture - you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile?
Bureaucratic ****in' morons..
Hey, do you know why we couldn't smile if we wanted to? Because we're
totally pissed off!
Signed ...
An Irate Canadian Citizen.
P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to
confirm that it's me?
Well, my family has been in Newfoundland since 1497 and I've been a Canadian
Citizen since 1949 ...... I have served in the military for something over
30 years and have had full security clearances over 25 of those years
enabling me to undertake highly secretive missions all over the world.
....However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am - you
know, someone like my doctor - WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN ****ING PAKISTAN