Welcome to my pity party...

[Aerovette]

One year ago tonight was my first night alone in the house since my wife made her exit. I'd like to say it has gotten easier but it has not.

I have control of my finances and I am getting out of debt,. I am free to talk to or visit anyone I want any time I want. I am free to watch what I want on TV. I answer to no one. My dogs still love me. I got to keep the house. I love my new job even though the pay is considerably less. I got to decorate my movie room without any feedback. I eat what I want. Sleep when I want. When I'm out with friends, I have them laughing and I hide it well...


But I'm lonely and I miss her. :sad:



Sorry to bring it here, but this is where I hang out so sorry for the buzzkill

Smokey Robinson & The Miracles - Tears Of A Clown (1970) HD 0815007 - YouTube

[JRD77VET]

Since it takes two to tango, why are you chasing someone who left? She made up her mind of what she wanted and you were excluded.

Time to move on with YOUR life and make the best of it.

Jeff

sorry for being blunt but you need to do what is best for YOU :yesnod:

[Aerovette]

Since it takes two to tango, why are you chasing someone who left? She made up her mind of what she wanted and you were excluded.

Time to move on with YOUR life and make the best of it.

Jeff

sorry for being blunt but you need to do what is best for YOU :yesnod:

I don't think I said anything about chasing anyone. :island14:

[Datawiz]

You are ahead of the game. Find a new squeeze and move on. :seasix:

[JRD77VET]

I don't think I said anything about chasing anyone. :island14:

Chasing as far as wanting her back. She's made her decision :yesnod:

[04 commemorative]

Good luck with this new chapter in your life....I hope it has a great ending for you.

[Milton Fox]

... an appropriate link from over there...

San Jose High football coach: No arms, no legs, no problem (http://www.mercurynews.com/2016/11/18/coach-1120/)

[Bill]

Why are you pining for someone who ripped your heart out and stomped all over it? You are better off now, then you were with someone who was going to betray you, which is what happened. She got her 30 pieces of silver from you.

Suck it up and enjoy the fact that you have a black velvet painting of dogs playing pool up in you movie room.

[DAB]

You cannot control what others do. You can only control your reactions.

[Kerrmudgeon]

It took me a couple of years to get over a similar situation....but now...I don't even think of her and when I do I remember all the BS I had to put up with. :ironchef:

[Burro (He/Haw)]

Find some strange,

Butt stuff,

Wipe on her curtains.

[FasterTraffic]

Maybe you don't miss her. Maybe you miss how the her you imagine when things were good made you feel. You miss the feeling rather than the person and there are other people who can make you feel like that. Thomas, for instance...

[Olustee bus]

I was a zombie for about 6 months after my ex and I separated. I then began to realize it was a good thing for me and I was able to move on. Life has been so good to me since. It can for you to, make it happen.

[Black94lt1]

Moving on can be extremely difficult but you have crossed a major threshold, continue to focus on all the great aspects in your life and most importantly have fun!

[78SA]

Don't let anyone take your smile away. Be happy with yourself and if no one else sees your worth then it's their loss.







Take matters into your own hands. :leaving:

[wwomanC6]

During the Holidays it's always harder, Aero! Surround yourself with things you like to do and people you enjoy. Yes, you will miss her and the way things use to be. But by doing these things over time it will get a little easier.

[Olustee bus]

I don't want to get too personal but how happy overall were you when you were together.

I was miserable with my ex. did not realize how much until much after divorce. One day (and I have to admit I was hungover real bad) I looked into a mirror and almost did not recognize myself. I made a vow to myself that I was going to live a better life, make better choices and do much better. I think that vow stayed in the back of my mind from then on.

I soon realized I was afraid of the change.

You can do it.

[Thunder22]

I still say you should bang her sister.....


:leaving:

[04 commemorative]

I still say you should bang her sister.....


:leaving:

Good idea or there is always Mary hand and her five sisters too ....:joebuck:

[OddBall]

When you're tired of being sad and lonely, you'll get out there and meet someone. There are gals out there that are sad and lonely too.
Don't compare them to your ex, accept them for who they are and see if that is compatible for both of your needs. Good luck. :cert:

[mrvette]

All I can do is share empathy, as I been there twice before.....krazy times....the first one I left Faryland and moved to Arkansas to my cousin's house...party times.....got bored, went back to the DC region.....second one I moved to a house across the freeway to be close and do my support bit for the kids, had a chick move in with me, and the kid's mom was all jealous for some almost ten years or so.....when they got old enough to fly south on their own, I moved to Florida, and in a couple years, remarried.....I happy as a clam now.....just hoping she is......never know until it's too damn late.....:issues:

[Rob]

Women outnumber men in Nashville 10:1 on any given Friday/Saturday night. :yesnod: I tried for years to tell ol Joey to come to Nashville and it would be like shooting fish in a barrel. He never came here but still found him a good girl.

If all you want is a hookup, come on down here.

But if you want a good woman, get involved in things you enjoy to do and get out there do them often. Even if it is day hiking in some local parks or going to the library for community discussions. Soon you will notice that there are other people that enjoy the same things.

Find your path.....stay on it. Soon you will discover you are not alone. :yesnod:

[Aerovette]

The reality of the situation is that I am over 55, can't change that. I have aged about 10 years physically in the last two years.

I have no game. I'm that guy that has to rely on personality. Tell me THAT doesn't seem impossible. 😃😃😃😯

[DAB]

A good woman sees the inner you.

A good man sees the inner woman.

Flowers fade, character endures.

[simpleman68]

Almost all good advice given above; except that one guy. :D

Sounds like you're stuck in life and that's not a good place to be at any age.

Wish you were closer to S.C. we'll be in Charleston area until Sunday. Got lots of room for extras. :cert:
Scott

[Mike Mercury]

http://www.kappit.com/img/pics/201501_2116_fcdge_sm.jpg







http://66.media.tumblr.com/8178c86af91b541d4b026ae6adaedd80/tumblr_npo841NqL11tfjxdjo1_1280.jpg

[Mike Mercury]

http://www.memepile.com/pics/7119.png



http://cdn.meme.am/instances/66360824.jpg



http://www.mememaker.net/static/images/memes/4417874.jpg

[MrPeabody]

Use your left hand. It will get you used to the idea of someone new.

[OddBall]

http://cdn.meme.am/instances/66360824.jpg




Years ago, after finally moving out an ex-live-in girlfriend (they are a hell of a lot harder to move out than move in) she ran into me (intentionally) at a restaurant that I usually ate lunch at. She had her new boyfriend with her and made it a point to let me know how happy she was. With her standing there, I told him: "My advice to you is to run while you can. I know that you're not going to listen to me because you haven't wore the 'new' off that ***** yet. But when the sex is no longer worth having to deal with her shit, you'll remember this conversation. When you do, give me a call and I'll buy you a beer."

[dwjz06]

The reality of the situation is that I am over 55, can't change that. I have aged about 10 years physically in the last two years.

I have no game. I'm that guy that has to rely on personality. Tell me THAT doesn't seem impossible. 😃😃😃😯Jeff. All I can say is don't look it will find you when you are not expecting it. I guess it is too soon to ask for naked pics of the ex huh???:D:lol: Give it time brother. I am in the same boat, but will be happy to be in your shoes again one day. Single with no one to worry about or answer to. Hang in there sir.:cert:

[Bill]

Use your left hand. It will get you used to the idea of someone new.

I'm left handed and divorced. What the Hell am I supposed to do?

:leaving:

[FasterTraffic]

I'm left handed and divorced. What the Hell am I supposed to do?

:leaving:

https://images-na-2.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51AcepHEtzL._AC_US160_.jpg

[MrPeabody]

I'm left handed and divorced. What the Hell am I supposed to do?

:leaving:

Move in with Aerovette.

[FasterTraffic]

Move in with Aerovette.

https://images-na-2.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51xasmQoosL._AC_US160_.jpg

[Iron Chef]

If you haven't gone to counseling, I'd suggest it. If you have, you might consider going back. A Xanax prescription wouldn't hurt either. It's a good short term fix to help get your mind right. It'll help a lot more than pity posts on here. Speaking of here...consider stepping away for awhile and get yourself into something else. I did at one point and it did me a world of good.

If you're really feeling bad, go down to the local homeless shelter and volunteer to feed meals on Thanksgiving. You'll keep busy and gain a new perspective on your own situation.

At 55 you're still a young man. I'm 56 and looking forward to my next 40 years or so. By your own description, you have your house, a job, your bills are getting under control...you're doing a lot better than many people in this country. Allow your ex back into your head and she wins. I'm sure you're not on her radar, why allow her onto yours?

Sorry...I'm not a hand-holder. Don't be your own worst enemy.

[Aerovette]

I miss the companionship. Movies, dinner, discussing our day, discussing anything and everything. Guys are supposed to be all tough and macho, but she really took the wind out of me. It's hard to be strong... and if I appear to be, it is only skin deep. 20 years of the same person at your right hand is not resolved by going out and getting laid, or taking up a hobby.

My buddies are all married and have obligations. If I ask them to do something alone, I am taking them from their wife or kids. If they come over with their wives, my wife not being there is a huge void in the room. My wife was the hostess, the organizer, the conversation maker. I am the class clown, the joker, the funny man, the guy everyone wants at their party. I was the entertainer, she provided the ambience for my show.

It is the milestones or dates of significance that kill me. Birthdays, anniversary, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years...days we both enjoyed. I have been to counseling, I have been on anti-depressants, I have read articles, watched videos, I've done a lot. Doesn't matter. It goes right down the drain with a single thought that pops into my head about something we did or shared.

I had a very tough time letting go of my bachelorhood and when I finally did, she was already arranging for me to have it back.

I'll pull out of the funk. I have several times already this year. I keep hoping that each time it hits, I don't go quite as far down the rabbit hole as the last time.

Thanks for the replies, the serious and the humorous. I'm not looking for an answer from anyone. That comes from inside. I just needed to get it out of me and knowing some of you have gone through it and came out the other side is encouraging.

Thanks

Jeff

[Burro (He/Haw)]

I miss the companionship. Movies, dinner, discussing our day, , , , ,<snip>

I'll make some assumptions here. I'll probably be RONG but I'll make 'em anyway.

Sounds to me like you lost -or never had- your own identity. Everything you did was as a couple. It was always "Us" and never just you. Movie, dinner, discussing your day is important but so is having your OWN shit to do that doesn't involve her whatsoever.

I never thought I had it in me to spend any length of time with one person, but here we are 20 years running and we're still together. I attribute some of this to the fact that I have terrific hair, but I also think it's because we have lives and interests that do NOT involve each other.

If I'd have gotten so much as a whiff the relationship was going to be an exclusive couple thing I'd have ridden off into the sunset with the quickness. I've got my shit, she's got hers and we have ours.

[StaticCling]

"Hell is the impossibility of reason"

Think about that, understand it, and you will know what to do.

[syf350]

You are ahead of the game. Find a new squeeze and move on. :seasix:

no at easy as it sounds....

[syf350]

I'll make some assumptions here. I'll probably be RONG but I'll make 'em anyway.

Sounds to me like you lost -or never had- your own identity. Everything you did was as a couple. It was always "Us" and never just you. Movie, dinner, discussing your day is important but so is having your OWN shit to do that doesn't involve her whatsoever.

I never thought I had it in me to spend any length of time with one person, but here we are 20 years running and we're still together. I attribute some of this to the fact that I have terrific hair, but I also think it's because we have lives and interests that do NOT involve each other.

If I'd have gotten so much as a whiff the relationship was going to be an exclusive couple thing I'd have ridden off into the sunset with the quickness. I've got my shit, she's got hers and we have ours.

Dont mean to hijack, but this is the truth. and we liked it that way...

[Jeff '79]

Waiting for Rotors advice.....

:ball:

[Burro (He/Haw)]

Waiting for Rotors advice.....

:ball:

Buy a new battery?

[Barn Babe]

I've got nothing to add, just hang in there.

[Aerovette]

I'll make some assumptions here. I'll probably be RONG but I'll make 'em anyway.

Sounds to me like you lost -or never had- your own identity.

I had it. I was a very independent "me". Over the years I let more and more of myself go and we became like a single entity. We were like one person. I had my band, which gave me some "me" time with the guys and I had my Corvette which let me get out on the road and decompress through acceleration. The band ended, the car was wrecked and now the marriage is over. Like a storm blew in and flipped my shit. Now I am too old to be that guy I was and I am not really sure any of that is left in me. I don't know myself. I react to things now, the way I learned to react to them from being with her. I like things now that I grew to like from being with her. Independent of the relationship, I'm not sure what the hell I am doing. Work, eat, sleep, repeat. I feel like freakin Matt Damon left on Mars.

I know I have learned that lonely and alone are NOT the same. When she was with me, I liked being alone now and then. Now I am alone and it sucks balls.

I will add that I have not put a battery in my truck for about 5 years. I guess I will take that advice and even though nothing is wrong with it and my truck starts like a champ, the battery MUST be replaced. :D

[MrPeabody]

Go to church. Not for religion, for chicks. Church chicks are freaks in bed.:yesnod:

[StaticCling]

Work, eat, sleep, repeat.

Hell, that's my life and I'm friggen married. :Jeff '79:

[Truck Guy]

A good woman sees the inner you.

A good man sees the inner woman.

Flowers fade, character endures.

:iagree: This... :yesnod:

[polarbear]

If you haven't gone to counseling, I'd suggest it. If you have, you might consider going back. A Xanax prescription wouldn't hurt either. It's a good short term fix to help get your mind right. It'll help a lot more than pity posts on here. Speaking of here...consider stepping away for awhile and get yourself into something else. I did at one point and it did me a world of good.

If you're really feeling bad, go down to the local homeless shelter and volunteer to feed meals on Thanksgiving. You'll keep busy and gain a new perspective on your own situation.

At 55 you're still a young man. I'm 56 and looking forward to my next 40 years or so. By your own description, you have your house, a job, your bills are getting under control...you're doing a lot better than many people in this country. Allow your ex back into your head and she wins. I'm sure you're not on her radar, why allow her onto yours?

Sorry...I'm not a hand-holder. Don't be your own worst enemy.

^^ This. :seasix:

[FasterTraffic]

A good man sees the inner woman.

Seeing the inner woman has always been the goal.

:leaving:

[OddBall]

Just a note, Jeff.
It ain't going to go away over night. The pain has to run it's course. And that makes you vulnerable. I don't mean just vulnerable to people that would take advantage of you and use you, but vulnerable to yourself as well. Pain will cloud your judgment. We are always eager to get away from the pain, and at times we rush into relationships that were never right to begin with, or we inadvertently torpedo what could have been a good relationship by being over zealous. In other words, watch out for teenage mistakes. Even at our age, we are still quite capable of making them. You owe it too yourself and to whomever you meet to take time to know each other.


On the other hand; if she's up for a roll, go for it. Hell, you ain't kids.

[Der Flieger]

The reality of the situation is that I am over 55, can't change that. I have aged about 10 years physically in the last two years.

I have no game. I'm that guy that has to rely on personality. Tell me THAT doesn't seem impossible. ��������

Hey, with your singing talent you should be able to karaoke -coax some group of sweeties every night. Go for it, it's a confidence builder.

[Sneaks]

Is this a black tie affair or just a casual dress thing? I forgot to RSVP.........
Just remember all the bad shit you've ever went through, and then think, "this too shall pass, and I'll own my own life like a boss".

[Jeff '79]

Uhhh, what about this stuff??? :toetap:

I still have both of my parents
A roof over my head
A job I enjoy
Food to eat
Clothes to wear
Good friends
Entertaining pets
Lots of stuff like TVs, games, tools
A nice house
I'm fairly healthy
I can still laugh
God looking over me
A lifetime of great times I can reflect on

So many things that I tend to forget about on a daily basis


Not having a main squeeze, can be a positive if you let it be.
Loneliness can be tough though. Without someone to share your triumphs and tragedies makes everything seem worthless if you're used to that.
Start a project. Remodel a room or something, and get out and tell people about it. Some chick will eventually get interested and wanna check it out or give you decorating advice.. Don't be afraid to play dumb and ask advice on the stupid stuff...

[Aerovette]

Is this a black tie affair or just a casual dress thing? I forgot to RSVP.........
Just remember all the bad shit you've ever went through, and then think, "this too shall pass, and I'll own my own life like a boss".

Ha, I live my life like I owe the boss. :lol:

Casual affair, by the way. Bring your own sorrows and add them to the pile in the spare room. :D

[Sneaks]

Ha, I live my life like I owe the boss. :lol:
:D

:rofl::rofl::rofl: